I couldn't take much more of those coconuts. Coconut milk is a natural laxative. That's something Gilligan never told us. - Cast Away (2000)

The blue waters, the white sand, the green palm trees

Panaji at dusk

You know the photographs you see of tropical beaches, the blue waters, the white sand, the green palm trees? Well we are there. Palolem, Goa and it is idyllic. On the advice of our good friend Gora we have decided to stop off in Palolem for 5 days on our way down to the tip of India before we fly out to Sri Lanka. We end up staying for almost two weeks.

The "wedding cake" church

After flying into Goa we stay in the old Portuguese colony of Panaji for two days to soak in old Goa. It's lovely and peaceful but if we knew what was only 2 hours up the road we would have hightailed it out of there. But saying that they had a Domino's Pizza so we stayed 2 nights and got a bus to Palolem, hugging each other as the beach huts came into view. (mentally hugging, as I was shunned to the back of the bus, away from the women's section - Patrick)


Palolem is a small beach town with disposable bamboo shacks lining the main road. I say disposable as they are dismantled every year before the rains come and rebuilt when the season starts up again. There is a main strip on the road with shops selling jewellery, pashminas and very modest women's swimwear (birkhini anyone) and another strip down the beach with restaurants and bars. Most places shut after midnight but by then you're usually pretty wrecked from a long day lying on your sun lounger or walking the 2 mins to the beach. It's a hard knock life!
We settled into beach life pretty quickly. Up and out to the beach most days, alternating tanning one day and being burnt the next, happy hour mojitos as the sun goes down, watching new cinema releases on the big screen in outdoor restaurants (mental note: do not watch 127hrs while eating a steak), drinks in the bars chatting to the lovely Nepali staff and falling into bed that night to start all over again then next day. Somehow we took to the route like pros...

Patrick feigning interest, Elaine thinks she sees a bed

But we did have the odd day of productivity. The odd day... We did a cooking lesson in the fantastic Spicy Bella restaurant. Patrick learned to cook a peshwari chicken kebab, fried noodles and I did a palak paneer and nan bread. It was an interesting class with delicious food and a great set up that would have been completely appreciated if the two of us weren't dying a thousand deaths from an impromptu pub crawl the night before. There we were, (in the horrors) in a hot steamy kitchen surrounded by food smells and the two of us sweating out every drop of drink in us. But it was a good lesson, and we learned loads, but when the food was put in front of us to eat we just wanted to go home and die! 


We were fortunately revived out of our lackadaisical attitude with the arrival of Gora and Shona who were coming to Palolem for a week from Kolkata. Their arrival coincided with the arrival of some killer waves on the beach. Not your average wave that occasionally catches you off guard and tosses your hair, no these bad boys pounded on you, trounced you and all you could do was hold on to your bikini bottoms for dear life. Fun!

Gora and Shona

During the time we were in Palolem a huge, worldwide event was taking place. A sporting event. Doesn't ring any bells you say? That's because it was cricket. Held between Bangladesh, Sri Lanka and India from February to April cricket world cup was a huge affair encompassing the other half of the world (ie not us). Cities shut down and traffic was at a standstill while in bars and restaurants big screens were set up so the staff and clientele could watch the 3hr+ games. (For the western beach goer it was a godsend as it meant there wasn't the usual influx of Indian men walking up and down the beach to gawk at our "wares".) Every day we'd come off the beach and feign interest with the bar staff while secretly wondering was a wicket was. That was until one particular match. On the 3rd of March underdogs (and generally crap at cricket) Ireland beat favourite to win England by 3 wickets. Shona, Gora, Patrick and I were in a frenzy, receiving texts from Indian friends with updates and the bar staff phoning around other bars to get us up to the minute results we were given the final score. The beach was in an uproar, strangers were coming up to us on the beach and congratulating us. All of a sudden people who couldn't point Ireland out on a map were saying "Ireland? Ah yes, beat England - good game!" It was bizarre but we got in on the buzz, learned what a wicket was and became fans . In the spirit of full disclosure I must add - we bought cricket jerseys.

The Indian Hoff...??

The days all rolled together into one mojito fuelled haze and before we knew it, it was time to leave and go to Kerala. Our last day was quite memorable as we had planned on being our usual beach bum selves but when we got to the beach we saw all the beds were gone. Asking around we learned that the police were coming for a "surprise" inspection and any bar without permits had to hide their beds to avoid a fine. There was not one bed on the beach. At loss of what to do, we hired a boat and went off in search of dolphins. We didn't see much but the price of the boat hire was worth it for our fisherman alone. He was a howl. He started the motor and I don't know, maybe he thought we wouldn't like the sound of the outboard, but he sang for a good 20 minutes, his own jazzed up version of Mary Had A Little Lamb. His English was a little eccentric and when we did (briefly) see a dolphin he said proudly "look at him, he is so happy that he is standing up!". His happiness was infectious and it was impossible not to be influenced by it. We returned to the shore with another rendition of the nursery rhyme, with the happy man waving his hat in the air at every high note.

We have our last meal in Palolem on the beach and we head for the train station with 15hrs on a train ahead of us and 'Mary Had A Little Lamb' stuck in our heads.


Elaine (4th of March 2011)