I made a cow! - City Slickers (1991)

Elaine is currently asleep, something I doubt I'll achieve tonight! So when better to fill you in on our last 24 hours than now?

Khajuraho

Yesterday we went to see the Kama Sutra Temples, man were we hot under the collar ten minutes in! Due to the 40 degree heat and not the sculptures. The temples I must say were amazing, when you see pictures you think nice ancient temple covered in sexy statues....NEXT! But when you go up close or inside and see that they are covered in relief sculptures from the base to the top, how each piece is almost identical and the sheer scale you think that's feckin' impressive.

Now I wouldn't like to disappoint anyone by not passing comment on the actual content of the sculptures; which need to be looked at in terms of symbolic reference and cultural meaning but there wasn't a single thing, as Elaine put it, that could be done without a close group of friends and a horse/lion (or half horse half lion which I shall call Horion). Also I got to see some monkeys! (real, not erotic monkey statues).

So back to the present; trust us to decide to travel into Uttar Pradesh on the day the Indian High court decided to release their verdict on a dispute which has run over the last hundred years between the Hindu & Muslim people of Ayodhya (birthplace of Lord Rama). As such all the buses have decided not to run which has resulted in us shelling out a fortune to get a car to drive us to meet our train in Satna, which we arrived 4 hours early for (but I got to see a cheeky monkey on the road through the Panna Nature Reserve so I don't mind too much).

Elaine the tour guide

A four hour wait in a remote Indian railway station will draw attention if you like it or not, but what will draw more attention is writing in your travel journal in front of the locals (some of who will blatantly come to look over your shoulder) but the greatest way to draw attention is to have a random cow stroll down the platform, stand beside where you are sitting and begin licking your leg, oh yes and seeing as cows are sacred here and me not wanting to cause an international incident I slowly stood & walked away only for the cow to follow me! I eventually lost the cow but not my audience who remained and laughed until their train was moving, probably going to be a Bollywood film of "One white man & his cow; a love story".

Also we made the acquaintance of Ju, a nice Korean guy travelling to Delhi to head home, who was nice enough to let us join him in the busy train station cafe. Thanks Ju and if your name is spelt incorrectly let me know.

Basically we've spent the day travelling from Khajuraho to Satna to catch our overnight train to Varanasi. Elaine seemed to be impressed at our 2AC class bunks, I personally think there were higher hygiene standards on the trains to Auschwitz. Elaine may have felt I was being a snob understandably but she did tend to agree with me when a cockroach joined us for dinner. Other than that, there is a novelty factor about being on a carriage full of curtained bunks and being given packaged sheets & pillows. So as Elaine sleeps I type, sorry if it's a bit long winded but this is a long trip but I've just noticed that cockroaches also like to look over your shoulder as you write so with that I am going to say goodnight, lay down the netbook and go shake myself off.

On the night train

Patrick (30/9/10)

They're coming outta the walls. They're coming outta the goddamn walls - Aliens (1986)

Good morning, we're currently still in our apartment after an entertaining evening. We went for dinner in a local Italian (Patricks 4th consecutive night of pizza)* and ate outside. It was nice to begin with - a little dark but not dark enough for me to avoid seeing the cockroach that had made its way onto Elaines shoulder and moving in to give her a kiss on the neck..... Panic (and what one might call an international incident)* followed, and as we had already ordered our food, we moved to a brighter area and sat in a constant state of paranoia as we wolfed down our food. Thank goodness for Black Fort beer, definitely helped take the edge off the whole ordeal.

Taken just before the frisky cockroach incident

It's raining outside all morning, first time seeing rain here, very refreshing as it reminds me of home. Anyway time to get up - going to visit the Karma Sutra temples today... Pics to follow!

Patrick (29/9/10)

*comment by Elaine

I want some peace and quiet! - What About Bob (1991)

So we just left Orchha with a heavy heart and arrived in Khajuraho full of trepidation with some of the advice we'd received from a number of locals, hoping for it to be ill-gotten.

Orchha

After the 4 and a half hour drive through rural Madhya Pradesh we have have checked into our temporary abode and have been given a chance to reflect on the beauty of Orchha (aka write the blog). First of all our accommodation was top notch, think we chose well this time! The town itself is small and out of the way, to such an extent that you would never even know it was there when travelling the road from Jhansi, if it wasn't for the magnificent Temples and palace which rise in the distance beside the Betwa River.

After we arrived and slept we walked up to the town to get an understanding of the layout, there is only so much of an idea a Lonely Planet map can give you. We ate in a fantastic little restaurant the Ram Raja, which had a small garden out the back where we waited for our food as the night creeped in,

Ram Raja

 this was unfortunately not the only thing that creeped in. We were set upon by more than a few tiny black beetles just after our food arrived; which causes problems when your eating one of the nicest olive pizzas you will ever find, still free toppings I suppose... We were rescued and brought inside when the staff noticed us constantly flicking things from our plates.

Elaines breakfast....EPIC

Day two in Orchha was blissful, woke late and strolled up to the same restaurant as the previous night to have breakfast. It was AMAZING! Elaine had what she described as one of the nicest meals of her life - hash browns with onions and green peppers (see pic.) Then we crossed the bridge to the palace to take in the view from the inside, amazing how something so old can stand the test of time so well. After looking around the courtyard with our mouths open we went to see the bedrooms of the King and his wives, each coming with not only with amazing murals but also some medieval air conditioning. Dinner followed in one of the more upper class restaurants, with what looked like pizza from a box (proves that looks can be deceiving and yes I have been eating more than just pizza) (note from Elaine - no he hasn't). 

So after sorting ourselves this morning and having to repack Elaine's backpack we set on our way to Khajuraho.

Patrick (28/9/10)

Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads - Back To The Future (1985)

Descended into Delhi during an amazing thunderstorm - was bizarre to see lightening from above, the clouds would flare up like strobe lights and back down again till you thought you were seeing things. I suppose that set the tone for what we'll be seeing in India...

Delhi Hotel Bathroom

Arrived to Delhi and got to our less than luxurious hotel (have a look for yourselves). We slept okay for a few hours but ignorance is bliss and when we came back to our room a few hours later there were about ten cockroaches there to greet us. We slept with the light on that night and got about 4 hours sleep between us. Took a tour of Delhi the next morning - was great, we saw where Gandhi was martyred and being the ignorant Westerners we are we defaced it. We didn't realise you had to take your shoes off and were pretty much kicked off the area where his monument was. 24 hours in India and already we were defacing national monuments...

Gandhi Memorial

One of the highlights of our day was a trip to the Hare Krishna temple. By highlights we mean lucky escape - be thankful we're not emailing home to tell you we have found inner peace and all it took is bright orange clothes, a shaved head and the contents of our bank accounts. We were brought in to a 3D show (we were expecting Avatar meets Passion of the Christ, was more like a melting Madame Tussuad's). The room was pitch black and we were told to stand against the wall. A booming voice over starts telling us about Krishna, while the disco lights illuminates a battle scene with some very freaky mannequins... 3 pitch black/mannequin filled rooms later we learned all about the soul, how it is wrong to think of yourself as only a body and how evil it is to look after the body and neglect the soul, when we are brought into a room that can only be described as something from a ghost train ride. There are bodies coming out of the wall, grotesque faces, demons and ghouls and then the serene faces of those who have chosen Krishna. The voice-over is on overtime saying how eating meat, having carnal relations and drinking alcohol invites evil spirits into the soul where choosing the divine path of Krishna (celibacy, sparse vegetarian diet and meaningful work) is to be saved. At this stage the lights are flashing on and off, people are screaming in the background and the UV light is giving everything a demonic sheen.

Oh did we mention that the entrances/exits were locked dungeon gates?

Elaine's secret message


When the guide/guard came to bring us into the next room we told him we wanted to leave so we missed the last few rooms. By the time we got out we were disorientated and thoroughly freaked out. We were told the temple had a restaurant, book shop and a guest house if we would like to take a look. Undoubtedly, had we stayed for the whole show there would have been someone to talk with at the end, maybe we would have been invited to stay for dinner and then perhaps the night? Then you would have gotten the email about our new found peace. Needless to say we hot-footed it out of there...

We weren't that all that enamoured with Delhi. It's loud, smoggy and full of touts. We only had 2 nights there so were pretty happy to leave. Took a 6 hour train to Jhansi and then a car to a place called Orchha which is gorgeous - very serene and relaxing. Just the perfect antidote to crazy Delhi life.

Elaine (26/9/10)

On a side note there was a lot of talk about the 2010 Common Wealth Games while in Delhi - both from the media and the people we spoke to. On one hand the people are very proud and excited to be hosting it but on the other hand they realise they are not prepared, that the facilities are not ready and they are getting a lot of criticism for it. The streets are all dug up and there is a constant flow of construction day and night but the authorities say it will all be done on time. Over 100 wild dogs have been taken out of the athletes village - some were sleeping in the dormitories, while there are photographs in the newspapers of mouldy showers and dirty mattresses. It will be interesting to see how this pans out...

Welcome to India